


Love Me Only

by imifumei



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, NewS (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imifumei/pseuds/imifumei
Summary: Yamapi just wanted to be someone who was loved by someone else.
Relationships: Koyama Keiichiro/Yamashita Tomohisa
Kudos: 1





	Love Me Only

Originally posted to LiveJournal, 13 September 2009

I wrote this especially for in response to her kink meme, although, actually I included very few of them. I hope you like it anyway!

**Title:** Love Me Only  
 **Pairing:** Koyama/Yamapi (KoyaPi)  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Genre:** RPS, porn, fluff? (I never know what to write here!)  
 **Disclaimer:** Not mine. Written for fun, not profit.  
 **Word Count:** ~1800  
 **Summary:** Yamapi just wanted to be someone who was loved by someone else.

**Thanks for beta reading, Crys!**

Yamapi knew he could have any girl he wanted, and most guys. It would have been easy to go to a club and pick some nameless, faceless body to fuck and forget. That's not what he needed. He needed something more, something softer, someone who would let him forget that he was the famous Yamapi and just be someone who was loved by someone else. 

He needed something he didn't know how to ask for from someone he didn't know how to ask. Instead he stole what he could at every chance he could get, and even though it hurt to pretend that it meant something and it always left him with a void he couldn't fill, it still left him warm and tingling. 

The brush of a finger when he handed Yamapi a water bottle, the unintentional bump of his knee under the table, the straightening of his jacket before going onstage, hearing his warm laugh and pretending just for a second that it was only for him, these moments left Yamapi wanting more. They made him more daring. Yamapi found himself deliberately brushing against him in the dressing room, tucking hair behind his ear, sitting next to him in the van in hopes that when he fell asleep no one would notice Yamapi leaning in close. 

If he thought about how he was pretending, his chest hurt. He didn't think about it.

~ ~ ~

Koyama lived for those moments. The electricity of of their fingers touching by accident, the way Yamapi swayed ever so slightly into him when Koyama straightened his lapels, the way Yamapi's head turned slightly to the side when Koyama laughed at something stupid Shige said as though his laugh were something special and Yamapi were trying to listen especially carefully, the way Yamapi's breath ghosted over his hair when he leaned close in the van, these moments made him feel like they were the only two people in the world.

Very soon, he thought, very soon he was going to have to say something because he knew Yamapi never would. He hoped desperately that he hadn't just invented it all; read too much into things. Yamapi touched almost everyone. There was no reason to think there was something special about when he touched him. 

But then there was that one night, that one touch, and he knew.

~ ~ ~

It was an accident. Well, not really, not like bumping into someone is an accident, but he hadn't _intended_ to do it. Not there.

It was dark. He leaned back against the bar as casually as he could manage and tried to listen to Shige and Massu sing the first verse of _Why_. Then he looked over at Koyama draped artfully over the bar stool, leaning on one elbow against the bar, his jacket riding up his wrist a little to show the delicate skin, sort of a pale cream color in the dimness, lit only by the cast of light from where Shige and Massu were pretending to play pool in the center of the stage.

He didn't even think about it. There in the dark, he didn't think about who might see. He reached out and ran a finger across the delicate skin of Koyama's wrist at his pulse-point, tracing it down to nestle in the warm palm of his hand for a half second before he realized where he was, what he was doing, what he was _supposed_ to be doing, and snatched his hand back just as the lights came up. Koyama nearly missed his first line and Yamapi knew he couldn't write this one off as an accident.

~ ~ ~

After the concert, Yamapi took an extra long time in the shower. He told himself that it was because he was trying to think what to say to Koyama, but really it was because he was hoping everyone would leave and he wouldn't have to confront him at all. 

He walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist and scanned the locker room. Only Ryo and Koyama remained. Koyama stood in shorts and a t-shirt leaning one shoulder against the lockers, his back to Yamapi. 

Ryo stood by the door. He looked at him and realized that Ryo knew everything. Yamapi wondered how long Ryo had known. Probably forever. Ryo never missed anything. Ryo fixed a pointed glare on Yamapi and then shifted his eyes to Koyama and back, raising his eyebrows in a way that clearly said “Well? Get on with it,” before quietly opening the door, slipping out, and silently closing it behind himself, leaving Yamapi with his heart's desire and a belly full of dread.

He went to stand behind Koyama.

His hair was still wet, dripping and soaking the neckline of his t-shirt. He turned his head look back slightly over his shoulder, acknowledging Yamapi's presence, but not meeting his eyes. Hesitantly, Yamapi touched his side, just above his hip, “Kei. . .”

Koyama grabbed his hand and pulled it around his own waist, stepping backward so that his back was pressed into Yamapi's chest, the remaining drops of water that clung there being absorbed by the soft cotton of his shirt. Yamapi wrapped his other arm around Koyama and rested his cheek on his shoulder. He let out a breath, it might have been a sigh.

Koyama turned in Yamapi's arms. He fully intended to say “I think I'm in love with you,” but when Yamapi raised his head and pleadingly looked into his eyes, words failed him. Koyama loved his leader with his whole heart. He loved how Yamapi never failed to work the hardest and keep the group going no matter what they were doing, together or apart. He was NewS' backbone. 

Koyama did his best to make Yamapi's job easier by keeping everyone as happy as possible and looking after them, but he just never felt that his group _needed_ him. Liked and appreciated, sure. But he certainly never felt anyone needed him the way he could see in Yamapi's half-closed eyes gazing up at him and feel in the fists bunched in the shirt at his back that Yamapi needed him. 

He suddenly realized that he wanted nothing more in the world than to be needed by this man. He captured Yamapi's mouth. His heart swelled when arms wrapped tightly around his neck and shoulders and fingers laced into his hair. He gathered him close, pressing them together with a hand in the small of Yamapi's back. 

Yamapi clung to him like he was life, kissed him back like it was breathing. Koyama dipped his tongue into Yamapi's mouth and was more than pleased to hear the resulting small, breathy sound that floated from Yamapi's throat.

They parted, both gasping for breath, foreheads pressed together. 

“Yamapi, I-”

“Kei, please. With you I just want to be Tomohisa, please.”

Koyama closed his eyes and nodded slowly, kissing him softly again. His hands slid down from Yamapi's back to cup his naked ass. The exact point when his towel had fallen from his hips had escaped Koyama's notice but now he was all too aware that a warm, naked man was standing in front of him, grasping onto his shoulders for dear life. He groaned and pulled their hips closer together. Koyama breathed deep; Yamapi was very hard.

Yamapi's head fell to Koyama's shoulder and he whimpered, pressing his lips to Koyama's throat. “Kei, I need you.” One of Yamapi's hands fell to the waistband of Koyama's shorts and at his soft hum of approval, dipped inside to stroke his length.

Koyama moaned at the touch, shocked to realize how hard he already was. “ _Tomohisa_ ”

“Make love to me, Kei.” It sounded stupid, Yamapi knew, but it was exactly what he needed.

Koyama cast his eyes around the locker room. The bench was too narrow, the floor covered in hard tile, the walls lined with cold metal lockers, there was a narrow sink counter along the mirrored wall. Koyama grabbed a small jar from his bag and led him by the hand across the room to lean against it, only dropping Yamapi's hand to shed his own clothes and then immediately press full-length into him. 

Yamapi's legs fell open to accommodate Koyama and he ran his hands over Koyama's lean back. 

Koyama skated a hand down Yamapi's side, over his hip and down his leg to hook under his knee and bring the leg up and around his waist. He dipped his fingers into the jar and ran them, slick and deft, down the crack of Yamapi's ass, pausing at his entrance and pressing his cheek to Yamapi's so his mouth was right next to his ear. “I love you, Tomohisa,” he whispered, and slid his middle finger into Yamapi's tight heat. Yamapi trembled.

Koyama kissed him with everything in his heart, stretching and stroking his insides, adding more fingers, finding and caressing his sensitive gland until Yamapi was bucking against his hand and his breath was coming in ragged, gasping moans.

Koyama lowered Yampi's leg and turned him to lean over the counter. He wrapped one arm tightly around Yamapi's chest and met his eyes in the mirror. 

“Kei.” Yamapi breathed, his eyes, his voice, his face, everything laid bare with raw need. 

“I've got you, Tomohisa.”

Koyama gripped Yamapi's hip with his free hand and entered him in one slow stroke. Yamapi's head fell forward on a choked groan. He fell to his elbows on the counter, his whole body shuddering.

Koyama gripped him more tightly, “I've got you.” He leaned over Yamapi's back to press his face between his shoulderblades and began to move achingly slowly, gently, in and out of Yamapi's slick, hot body that seemed both to welcome him in and urge him out. 

“Kei, please-”

Koyama increased his pace but moved no less gently. His thrusts were as smooth and comforting as a caress, but as sensuous and provocative as the most sultry of dances. He kissed the back of Yamapi's neck so sweetly and lovingly that it could not have been more intimate if it were his mouth. He pulled Yamapi back against him, arching his back to press against that spot with each thrust.

Yamapi cried out when Koyama finally wrapped a hand around his aching cock, squeezing and stroking from base to tip. 

He gasped when his thumb on the tip caused Yamapi's body to clench around him. “ _Oh, yes, Tomo-_ ”

Koyama gasping his name into his ear had Yamapi coming in hot spurts over the sink and Koyama's hand, his body squeezing around Koyama's entire length and forcing him to follow Yamapi over the edge.

They collapsed to the floor in a tangle of long limbs and languorous kisses.

That night, finally, Yamapi did not wait until Kei was asleep to hold him close.


End file.
